Archives: Banished Words 1987
The following phrases turned up again and again in the
nominating letters. In previous years bureaucrats,
journalists, or educators have inspired the major
nominations. This year its the people at what Sid
Caesar called The Doctor Place. However, one
suspects that it isnt the doctors and nurses who
invent these silly terms, but administrators and those
who write the glossy pamphlets one finds in waiting rooms.
The Health Care Delivery
System/Industry Why dont we
have them deliver have a pint of health to our door each
morning. John Jolly, Seattle, Washington.
replacing patients. Maybe this means
they can charge more. Nicholas Naff, Las
replacing health. The traditional parting
thus becomes, Go in good wellness. Mrs.
F. A. Simon, East Lansing, MI.
This is where they put new baby patients in hospitals
instead of a nursery. And, what ever happened to Bye Baby
Bunting? Henry Ward, Detroit, MI
The Patient Did Not Fulfill
His Wellness Potential This
statement not only obscures the fact that the patient
died, but places the blame squarely on the patient for
this inexcusable failure. Emmet Donnelly,
Colorize and Colorization
It is bad enough that Ted Turner damages
classic films; his disrespect for the language is equally
reprehensible. What he means is, color.
Paul H. Toepp, Detroit, MI.
My Work In The Structure Of
Baseball as in statement by Jack Morris
of the Detroit Tigers: .2 million is a lot of
money, but it doesnt fit into my work in the
structure of baseball. What he means is, My
job, but that wouldnt be worth even .2.
which is simply wrong. There hasnt been an
innocent plea for more than 200 years. A
defendant pleads guilty or not guilty
since he is presumed to be innocent until proven guilty.
Attorney Thomas H. Edwards, Austin, Texas.
To a Grand Rapids radio news
reporter (name withheld) who said: They both have
rather unique positions which are remarkably similar.
John H. Twist, Grand Rapids, MI.
Contradictions of 1986
Turned Up Missing
If they turn up how can they be missing?
Ann Rady Rabe, Sault Ste. Marie, MI.
The only thing worse would be the same
identical difference. Gregory C.
Carter, Oklahoma City, Okla.
Hands On Participatory
Experience Meaning, its OK to
touch it. Destined to fuzz the minds of all
English-speaking children. John C. Sherwood,
Battle Creek, MI.
How is this measured? Why not 1/3 dead, or 18/32;
or, if an athlete, 120% dead? Lou Vodopya,
as in football. Announcer: Their quarterback audibleized
at the line; i.e., he called signals. This
makes me want to silencize my TV and turn on the part
that is picturized. Glenn Ickler, Framingham,
Filmed Before A Live Studio
Audience Do they film before dead
studio audiences? Isabel Grasby, Thunder Bay,
I gag on this because it sounds like the drainage
from the sinus passages, as in sewer/sewage. Is signage
more expensive that just plain signs? C. B.
Sutton, Westerville, Ohio
ANSWER: Yes! And it takes up to
three times as long to engage in signage as
it does to order and put up signs.
By And Large
This means nothing; but politicians use it to imply
vast research resulting in profound thought.
Art Pickering, Toronto.
You Cant Take Nothing
With You Which may be true, but
this is a double negative, even when uttered by Chicago
Mayor Harold Washington whose predecessors found
investigations fruitworthy and disliked
insinuendos. Denise M. Brummel,
Hammond, Ind. Unicorn Hunters official Chicago
as on Wang Laboratories invoice. And it cost me 4,
but would it cost less if Wang simply removed it or took
it out? John A. Boll, Detroit, MI.
Why not say rain. Jim
Althof, Seattle, Wash.
Does this mean a partial eclipse?
Daryl Huggard, Bay City, Pupil of Bruce Peasley, Handy
There You Go
recipient of furthest-and-fastest-travel-cliché-award
for 1986; probably derived from Pres. Reagans
similar expletive. I first encountered this in
upper Michigan when a waitress said it every time she
served something. I was restrained from going
each time by my companions. Then I returned to the West
Coast and in a few weeks it entered into every commercial
transaction. Eli Levine, Summerland, Calif.
Here as in Im talkin
baseball, here. Were talkin
grammar, here! Charlotte Head, Nepean, Ont.
In His Words
as in a new reporter quoting the prime minister. How
else would he say it? Would he rent lips?
Saul Jacobson, Regina, Saskatchewan.
If these have had such a devastating impact on our
economy, I shudder to think about the dire consequence of
domestic imports. T. A. Quinn, Louisville,
Unless you are the Irish Republican Army this is
one account too many. Edward R.
Bolt, Grand Rapids, MI.
Of course, a hazard is a potential danger.
James H. Lindsay, Burnaby, B.C.
Lake Effect needs to be thrown out.
With any luck the condition would then vanish. Belt
is over modified. People, cars and nations have then; and
they are to a degree interchangeable. If it gets so hot
in the sun belt why not call it the fan
Are there safety belts
in cars, or are they parts of automobiles in which people
are especially prudent?
Silicon Valley wants
renaming. Is the valley really walled in by mountains of
silicon? Does Silicon River run through if?
The Nicaraguan rebels
need a new name. Would you want to be a contra?
Where is credibility in foreign policy if Contra
aid is contra-indicated? Can the
president explain to his country without making a contra-diction?
D. G. Galbraith, Rexdale, Ont., Canada.
A Tad As in
a tad nippier or lower your end just a
tad. A tad is a little child,
especially a boy. George Constable,
in arguably the best boxer. A non-source
source in support of the writers personal opinion.
James M. McDonald, Jr., Seattle, Wash.
Government talk for certain budget cuts. To me, it
has something to do with jury selection.
Phil Arkow, Cascade, Col.
As in are you comfortable with this? Im
tired of hearing this every time an idea is presented.
Makes you uncomfortable? Jo Ann Krause, Grand
on the back of Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion (the extra
strength variety) which I would like banished
before it gets too popular. Denise M.
Brummel, Hammond, Ind.
Why Tuna fish, but not trout fish?
Elizabeth A. Levie, Santana High School, Santee,